Ashley is finding the early mornings rather mental and very trying.

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Ok that sound ominous, and yes it is. We had decided to both go to the Lake District for a few days and due to a few family problems (me) we didn’t go. So I am spending –sorry we are spending our anniversary here at home.

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I had too late a night last night; I was performing my duties as host on the comedy pub crawl for the Merchant City Festival. It was too late for me to blog and this morning I had to get up 8am for a live radio show on Beat 106. Trust me, me in the morning is not a funny sight, I was like Myra Hindley the child killer on crack. I did manage to be funny, but fuck was I tired.

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I am getting loads of very cool invites to all places on the globe and need more! I am thinking it may be good TV idea and have approached the BBC today with the pitch and they are looking at it.

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Went into Glasgow’s Mitchell Library today to get the cutting from the newspaper where I recently talked about my Cousin Sammy’s death from heroin. It really did bring back memories when I saw the pictures of him in that double page spread. I loved him so much, I looked at his big cheeky smile in that photo and my heart lurched again. I miss him so much, even to this day.

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So I have been well behaved since the ‘Mother went mental call the institution’ episode on Friday night. Thanks to all from Ohio, Montreal, Johannesburg, New York, Jamaica and England who emailed me with decent marital advice, I thank you all.

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I sat tonight on the sofa and rubbed my feet, the skin is scaly and cracked like a desert deprived of vital fluids. So I have just spent half and hour soaking and rubbing pumice on my corny old claw like feet, to finally get them smooth. I may have to use the same technique on my face and my personality.

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Am listening to Boz Scaggs, whose music is just startlingly brilliant! I love it. Sorry I was missing in action yesterday, I was babysitting baby Abi and wee Shaun last night. I got to sit on a floor and play ‘car crashes’ with big chunky vehicles for an hour and that was fun.

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Today I found this site with singing Cats on click Here. It makes me piss myself laughing every time I see it! Today was better than yesterday health wise, my sore throat has calmed down due to the influx of hardcore anti-biotics that are probably killing me in a different way as I speak. I hate anti-biotics but I had to take something to get rid of the virus. I was going to try Chinese medicine that is so favoured here in the West, there are six Chinese herbal shops in my road, but until they can cure gambling and superstition, I am not going to trust them.

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So husband heard on the radio about six degree’s of separation, I am sure some of you reading this will be familiar with this theory. So I decided to explore who I have met famous and where that leads me in the Six degree’s situation.

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I know what a weird title for my blog. I had a bit of a strep throat for the last few days, but last night my glands swelled up into two big Doberman’s dogs bollocks and they were accompanied by shooting hot flash pains into the centre of my ear. I woke up at 6am crying and demanding that husband ‘fix’ me immediately. He got me to call the doctors and make an appointment. Swallowing was a mammoth and near on impossible task, I was in such pain I had to cancel my breast exam. There was no way I could suffer tit squashing and throat ball pain at the same time.

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Sorry I am late with this, my PC ran out of internet time in the hotel in Leeds and at £15 a pop, I refused to pay! Anyway on Friday night after the gig, husband and I went for a late night stroll down to the canal (he had seen it and thought it would be nice for me to see it too, as I had complained about how shit Leeds was).

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The photo shoot for Red Magazine was amazingly funny. Firstly it was in a big house in Hackney. The owners of this place are professional antique dealers and that is reflected in the beauty of their home. They had a big bathroom with an ancient but beautiful claw footed bath, huge original sinks and amazing décor. The best part was their mental dog Alfie, who nearly wrecked the photo shoot by dragging in half a tree and placed it on my white linen skirt for me to throw. It was a great wee dog, its tail wagged so much that it made the happy dog walk like Mae West in a tight dress, its wee bum wiggled and waggled as it happily slavered on my white outfit and turned up the pleading eyes for me to come play with it…awesome.

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Got up early for the flight and was surprised to see a very old Aunt from my family at the airport (she is a distant relative) Auntie Sadie, she is 98 years old and very brutally honest. “You are fat, at least you can laugh about that in your comedy thing” she shouted really loudly in at check in coz she is deaf.

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Wow! The weather is just so damn hot today, we melted. Ashley and I went up to my sister Ann’s home to visit, she has a big garden and we decided that was the place to sit in the sunshine. We took a couple of deck chairs, some books and cold drinks for our sunbathing escape.

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