Janey Godley’s Blog

I had such fun last night at Blackfriars comedy club. The whole place has been completely changed and renovated. The sad thing is, the owners have installed a huge fuck off Air Conditioning/ Smoke extractor system that racks its way across the ceiling, huge big silver cylindrical tubes snaking its way all around the room and all it manages to do is carry the music from upstairs – to the downstairs comedy room, and Scotland has a no smoking ban! All that cash and hard work for nothing!

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http://livedigital.com/content/208906/

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I spent the whole night writing stuff that meant nothing on my blog, and the real truth is I felt quite down today. I don’t really know why, I had one of those days when I ended up reflecting on my life a bit for no reason and then felt a bit down.

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I have been watching some short videos on Livedigital, I love watching the home made ones, like my own live blogs or people’s self made short sketches. I can’t believe the amount of short videos that people download from TV and upload onto the site. I don’t want to watch snippets of TV shows but then I also am horrified at watching some horror films as well. They are the kind of ‘real’ films I don’t want to see. For example I inadvertently watched part of a ‘Real train death’ and a ‘real suicide bomber’ I was skipping through various films and unwittingly watched them! I was fucking traumatised for a whole day afterwards.

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I have finally got the poster designed for Square Street. That’s the sketch show my daughter Ashley and I will be performing at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe. I am amazed at the amount of people who are aghast that I am doing three shows a day, I am producing them and performing them also and I will be on for the full three weeks.

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Being home is good, I am so glad to get into my own bed. Feels better and I slept well, I even made a few funny pics and put them on my Livedigital website.

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Yes I am…I cannot wait either. I have missed Ashley’s birthday and my husbands cooking…and love -I suppose. I had a good gig last night, Jongleurs went well, Bristol is nice and I got some nice comments from people who have lived in Bristol telling me interesting places to visit when I am here so thanks all!

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I was out a bit too late last night. I was celebrating Brendon Burns’ birthday; the lovely and lively Aussie comic has the same birthday as my sparky daughter. Brendon is a good mate and he had a good old bunch of mates in the rib joint in Soho last night, sitting around enjoying his company. I ate so much meat I almost had a heart attack.

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The gigs have been great fun, I really enjoyed the radio show on BBC Radio 4 Loose Ends, Ned is a great entertainer and it’s awesome to learn from someone so experienced. I have still not got the adverts finalised for the fringe brochure as I am still waiting on a time confirmation from one venue, hopefully they will tell me tomorrow as the deadline is Friday!

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As always my husband who has been nice and speaking lovely to me for days, turned into a snarling fucking evil nasty bastard. He annoyed me, shouted at Ashley and I in turn verbally attacked him.

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I woke up this morning with a sore back; husband had been hugging me all night. I thought I was being suffocated, but apparently I was only being ‘loved’. Mmmmmmm….

He is still talking ‘supportive’ and ‘lovely’ its making me freak…I will get to the bottom of this. I will probably open a letter and find out he owes £70,0000 in some gambling debt, or open the cupboard and find a dead woman in there, some woman he has killed in a strange sexual accident…who knows…he must be behaving this weird for some reason other than ‘love’. Who knows?

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Since husband has been very nice and accommodating, I have become more uneasy. Is he being nice to left foot me? Am I so far down the line in this relationship that any sign of affection is seen as conflict in disguise, like some hive of killer wasps inside a Trojan horse of hugs?

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This city is strange but nice, it has a castle, it has a river, and it has a lovely exhibition centre but no internet. I have walked up and down the streets asking people if there are any internet shops....yet no...So I wander into this really funky organic looking cafe and ask the man if they had internet. He explained that they have wi-fi but alas I didn’t have my pc with me, just then a big guy standing beside me offered to let me use his PC. He was tall, had a pony tail, hippy looking dress sense and a strange accent, so I said "Thanks!".
So I have a new friend, he is a computer expert and is from Bulgaria, he let me sit and write this blog, so therefore he is KING! He explained he doesn't use Windows or anything Microsoft or Apple as he has his own programme, he says those people from Microsoft are the DEVIL and Mac aren’t much better....cool!
I checked into the hotel yesterday really early as my flight from Glasgow was at 9am, so I begged to get into my room early. The girl on reception refused, so I burst into tears!
The hotel is called The Big Sleep which is actually a big fat lie, my room overlooks a railway line and trains go past loudly every fucking ten minutes.
Husband has been annoying, after being married 25 years, we have a code, a language that only we know and we use by noting each others tone and double meaning behind every loaded statement we make to each other. Yet lately he has been really nice and helpful and I meanwhile have been talking in our well honed 'nasty code' and he has never risen to the bait...has he forgot our 'code'?
I can’t have him being nice and saying things like "Janey what is it you really want to say? Are you upset about something?"
So I say "What do you think?" (In code that means yes you cunt I am upset now guess why)
So I am scared he has forgotten how to argue with me....how strange would that be?
Lying in the hotel in Cardiff, trying to work out what way to argue and rile my husband is not a good way to spend the night.
By the way Cardiff Jongleurs has a really echo-y microphone and sound system...so strange but the shows have been cool.
Speak Soon

I was so exhausted this morning; I never really slept last night. I have been worried sick about getting everything done and organised for Edinburgh. Yet it seems the more I stress the less actually gets fucking done!

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Yes who would have thought this subject would come up again, but get this. Stressed out as I am, I finally fell asleep this morning at 4am. I was in one of those deep happy warm sleeps, when I am woke up because my mental husband got out of bed, came back in, saw my ass sticking out of the covers and decided ‘out of the blue’ to smack me really hard! Yes….I was awoken by a random act of violence.

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I have a man who emails me called Keith who likes pain. I have no problem with this as I don’t know him, and don’t cause him pain…but he wants to be my slave. Now I have considered letting him clean my home and then hitting him with sticks, but I get the feeling sex may be involved.

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I am looking after my sister’s daughters for two nights, Natalie and Victoria. Today Natalie is seventeen years old. Her birthday is April 1^st, which is the same day my mum went missing in 1982. We assume April 1^st is also the day my mum died, we don’t know the true date, we can only assume as her killer denied all knowledge of the incident and he himself is now dead.

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