Janey Godley’s Blog

Well the flight into Auckland was not as troublesome and fairly easier, bearing in mind Auckland has an International Runway unlike Wellington!

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Well that was fun, I loved Wellington. We were there for two whole weeks; sorry the blog was late but having a migraine was a bastard to deal with. My season at Downstage was amazing, I got really good ticket sales –great reviews and made good friends with Tibald the theatre cat, I am happy.

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I have now had a headache for 27 hours, I was panicking last night as the show was booked out good and my head is pounding like a big nail has been hammered into the side of my head. I managed to go on stage and have a really cool gig, but I am scared inside as even when I sleep this fucking pain pulsates. If I move my head too quick my vision gets blurred! I am gonna die!

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Yes, it did and I am so chuffed it went great, I had a really full house and loads of people laughed in all the right places. I was so nervous at first, but I did it and Ashley taped it for me. A guy actually asked me to do a ‘tumble’ on stage and I did! I forgot I had a hairclip in and that jagged me head.

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I woke up this morning and I have two big insect bites on my ankles, yes! Some nasty wee fucking bitey things had a feast on my ankle, I have two huge lumps that have the tiny wee pin head red entry zone clearly marked….yuk some horrible thing was sucking on me! My husband has this strange philosophy that if you talk to insects they won’t hurt you; now two things are flawed with this arrangement.

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I do feel a whole lot better, those period pains nearly killed me, but I managed to get showered and got out of the hotel. Ashley and I went down to the harbour in Wellington, the sun shone though it was still crisp outside. We saw a great Maori busker and he let me join in singing and dancing and we filmed that. Then a local drunk toothless man came along, smelling of piss and booze, so I told Ashley that was her ‘real daddy’ and she screamed at me.

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Well I am not hitting anymore disabled pervy people. I feel I have been there and done that! I did a gig last night at Indigo Bar, Ashley came along and filmed the gig, and she and I had a good time chatting to the other comics. They really are a nice bunch. We went for a late night drink with Dai Henwood and got home around 3am.

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Don’t judge me there is a story. I walked up to the Downstage Theatre where I am performing next week, I was also on that night for ‘First Laughs’ and had to do a tech rehearsal. The theatre is a quite a walk from my hotel, but a nice stroll none the less. I took some pictures of my big billboard outside, did the rehearsal and decided to catch a bus back to the hotel, as every bus goes past Lambton Quay.

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5am Wellington NZ, am sitting quietly on the sofa, am still waking up too early but coping with it. Ashley and I have a national TV breakfast show to appear on in less than five hours and I was pondering.

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Auckland is cloaked in grey, the rain is horizontal and Glasgow is having a heat wave….still. How annoyed am I, we are missing the only sunshine we are likely to get this year back home! I am gutted.

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2pm was the call time, to get to the St. James theatre in Auckland. Too early for my liking as I am not actually onstage until 10pm at night! I brought my long dress, high heels and necklace. I left Ashley at the hotel as there was no real reason to drag her out with me, she could come along at 6pm and that would give her time to dress up as well.

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We had a great day yesterday Ashley and I, we went down to the Classic to do TV interview with myself Dom Irrera and Phil Nichol, Ashley filmed me being filmed by the TV company. I love Dom and Phil, two very wonderful comics. Then we went along Auckland harbour side which is beautiful despite the scary windy rainy weather. We went into one of the lovely harbour side restaurants and enjoyed the local seafood.

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Yes we made the very fatal mistake of falling asleep at 5pm. I know!!! What fucking idiots we are, my daughter and I decided a wee nap would be good so I set my phone alarm for 7pm. I forgot in my haze of jetlag that my phone is on UK time and would not alarm me until Wednesday next week or something! What is wrong with me?

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So very sorry I have been missing in action BUT I could not get online. We got to London after a big dash and landing at Heathrow I managed to call the taxi people who always look after me, well in theory that should be straight forward BUT….oh NO…the guy arrived late, he was the blackest man I have ever seen and was wearing clothes that were way too big for him. Like he had just killed the real driver and stolen his identity, Strange you may think that I assume this but get this….as he helped us out of the airport he then discovered he had lost his car. Ashley and I were exhausted and desperate to get to the apartments that Crown Lawn had sorted.

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You have no idea how fucking stressful it is going from shop to shop in the sticky heat of Glasgow looking for the perfect dress.

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My daughter Ashley woke up, and told me she was filming today for her University project. Then she got upset as the guy who was playing a transvestite in her video called off. She was making a MOCK-documentary about how people do stuff to get into TV. She was filming this guy who was supposed to be getting a sex change to take part in a reality TV show.

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Why is it that no matter how many lists I make, or how many post-it’s I accumulate, I am still convinced I will forget something as we leave Glasgow on Saturday for London. We fly out to NZ on the Monday.

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