Janey Godley’s Blog

Award-winning Blog, running since 2004, which provides an astoundingly honest, candid and sometimes jaw-dropping insight into stand-up comic and best-selling author Janey Godley's extraordinary collection of domestic crises & marital tiffs.

2009/6/29

Janey is late as usual

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@ 10:24 AM (4 months, 11 days ago)

 

So London has been such a fucking pain this time. You see here is the truth, I was sick on arrival; I flew into Heathrow last week feeling hot and yucky. I secretly thought I had swine flu; mentally I was plotting my funeral.


So, then I just got ready for the gigs and getting myself into gear. The coughing during the night freaked me out so much I had to stop smoking all over again (yes I slipped). So breathing is better since I had stopped again, but seriously I am concerned and need to go get my lungs check.

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2009/6/21

Back Then

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@ 07:40 PM (4 months, 18 days ago)

 

I got an email from my past. A woman I knew called Maria when I was 14 years old got in contact. We knew each other through a friend of mine, but we didn’t attend the same school as she was a Catholic and because I am bereft of a religion so therefore assumed as a protestant (this is normal in east end Glasgow) – we never really moved in the same circles.

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2009/6/19

London so far

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@ 07:10 PM (4 months, 20 days ago)

 

The flight down from Glasgow was ok, I was rather annoyed as I got a BA American Express credit card and on the phone the Amex people reassured me TWICE that this British Airways Amex gets you access to their executive lounges and I asked my mate who works at BA when I got the airport and she told me it didn’t give you access, MANY people had been duped by that sales technique. Shame on Amex for lying to people, anyway flight was fine.

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2009/6/14

Life and people

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@ 05:46 PM (4 months, 25 days ago)

 

So things have happened. Ashley got her exam results, she got an ‘A’ and 3 ‘B’s for her Honours and we are well chuffed, am so very proud of her. She on the other hand has begged me to stop bragging about her, I almost vomited onto her new dress with shock! Brag? Me?

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2009/6/10

Good days and bad

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@ 07:50 PM (4 months, 29 days ago)

 

There are about 15 kids who run around outside my back court who do fuck all but constantly scream like Ian Huntly is on their wee heels every single minute of the day. There is a wee boy who lives through the wall and the screamy kids yell up at his window for hours, his name is undecipherable to me but I think it Rizwall, he never answers and I think he is either dead or moved away. I wish someone would tell them - I can’t shout down at them as they are all Asian and I will look like a scary racist. But the poor wee kids take turns screeching ‘Rizwahhhll” every hour until their throats hurt and they give in or their mums come out and take them all up to their beds.

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2009/6/5

What my dad says

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@ 06:36 PM (5 months, 4 days ago)

 

I went to meet my dad in town. As soon as he saw me he said “Do you need a pee before we set off?” in front of all his old mates. “No dad, I am fully toilet trained thanks” I hissed.

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2009/6/4

Into the Night

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@ 09:02 PM (5 months, 5 days ago)

 

Not only did I dream about being pinned down by a strange evil man, but as I looked over his shoulder I could see he had put another woman behind the wallpaper but had left holes in the paper for her to stare out of as she slowly died. Amongst all the floral swirls there was this woman’s two eyes glaring at me.

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2009/6/1

People in the sun

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@ 06:35 PM (5 months, 8 days ago)

 

After falling asleep at the unbelievably early hour of 8pm last night (jetlag rules) I awoke at 7am this morning, I now have the sleeping pattern of a toddler. Though I didn’t wake up pissing the bed or screaming for toast and jam (like most toddlers) I just stumbled about staring at the excruciating sunshine blasting through my bedroom window. I hoovered, I washed clothes, I washed dishes and it still wasn’t even 8am yet. My life is officially over, gone are the days when I could sleep till 3 o’clock like a right good comedian. I am going to be like one of those old ladies, who wake up at 6am, put on a housedress and then fall asleep on the sofa listening to The Archers.

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